".. if only i know why and what's wrong, i wouldn't have done all that to hurt you. Why on earth will i want to do all that when i truly love and treasure you, you tell me? Maybe my brain has all screwed up. I sincerely declared my love and decision to stay with you till my dying days.. Accepted every inch of you. And mind you, i meant every word.
I cried every night to you. I tried to tell you. I'm tired of all the insecurities. Why? Please.. Sometime the lil things that you keep are things that hurt me most. By ignoring that fact, that's when misunderstandings arise. You may think that you did nothing but your every step and action can kill me. Truthfully, i'm tired of my life now. I've to deal with myself being hopelessly sick.. Family bickering.. And no need to add more, those are already enough a weight to carry. I simply dread the next sunrise. To me, another day equals to another day of hurts and suffering. I feel like there's no more meaning in life. But strongly, being religiously concientious, i chaste my thoughts of such negative vibes. I try. Really, i believe now, evil is strong. Patience is a virtue. Allahu'akhbar..
As for my love, i wish you come clean with me. Spill to me. Tell me, directly, one on one.. What you really feel about me? What are your intentions being with me? What's your aim for me? And where do you see us in 10 years down the road? I really want to know.
I'm not saying that with you saying the three words often to me isn't good enough. In fact it is good enough, if love has never been cruel to us that is. And i'm very much astounded when you said that too much sacrifices has been made from you. Were you even sincere when you decided upon sacrificing back then? Were you?? You brought that up. I felt defeated, punched to the ground.. How can i stay when you keep on bringing back the past? How can i believe your sincerities when you demand an exchange from me. I don't mean to be angry but the fact is i am. I want us to really sit down and talk. We really need that. Straighten things out. Find the solution to every matter. By the way, when was the last time we did that?
Remember what i shared with you under the shelter? Remember that very night? That, i will remember always. My insecurity with God. I've not been having a good night sleep. What more a pleasant dream. But what i shared with you, wasn't just a ploy. That fear, that tears.. I am simply shaken. God is great. You and i will never know when's our last. Thus, i really mean it, since then till my last breath, i vowed to love and treasure you with all i might. Only Him can tear us apart. I won't leave and gives up on you, family nor life. He will be the only reason.
After all these, it comes back to a question. And that i wonder, do you feel the same way too, dear?.." A very Happy 29th Birthday to my sweetheart! Hope you had a great time with the surprise by me and your friends. Don't worry, i have a line-up of surprises just for you. You won't know and as planned you will never expect such surprises to come your way. And yeahh,A very Happy 10th to us too!
The girl behind this writes, Shalyn
her loves ♥
The Stiletto Style
